The Art of Surrender, By Donald J. Trump, the World’s Most Stable Genius

Crescent International

Muharram 06, 1448 2026-06-21

Daily News Analysis

by Crescent International

“Nobody can surrender like I do,” said Donald Trump.

He made the remarks after signing the Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) at the Versailles Palace in France on June 18.

Trump’s signature formally endorsed the MoU with Iran that calls for a ceasefire on all fronts, including Lebanon.

He took aim at Barack Obama and said he had signed a terrible deal with Iran.

That is why he tore it up and signed his own deal, Trump explained.

How could that fake president [Obama]—he was not even a real American because he “faked” his birth certificate—sign a deal with Iran by giving them $150 billion and leave their nuclear program in place?

[I know it was actually $1.7 billion but as president I am allowed to exaggerate a bit. That’s the job of the president].

“I not only obliterated Iran’s nuclear facilities in June 2025 but bombed them again in March.”

“The world is a much safer place now,” the orange orangutan insisted.

“And I got the Strait of Hormuz opened to all shipping,” boasted Trump.

That it was open before the war is different. That the Iranians have closed it again is fake news.

Before my great war that obliterated Iran’s navy and military, it was not under Iranian control.

“Under my brilliant strategy, Iran now has full control of Hormuz and the Iranians have assured me that they will behave.”

“I believe them because they always keep their word,” Trump intoned.

Some people say that the US is giving the Iranians billions of dollars.

“It is their money. We have to give it back at some point. I might as well do it and get the Nobel Peace Prize that I should have got last year,” explained Trump helpfully.

“I really want that peace prize. I really do because I am the greatest peace-maker in the world.”

For the sake of peace, I gave Iran what it wanted.

I wanted them to surrender but when the Ayatullah refused, so I decided to surrender myself.

Somebody had to do it. Why not me?

American forces will be withdrawn from the region.

Iran can keep enriching uranium and it can dilute its 60% stock at home.

Besides, it is really unfair that Iran should not have missiles.

Everybody has missiles, including the Gulf Arab countries.

That they carry their missiles on camels is not my fault.

We make the best missiles and planes in the world.

Those Arabs don’t know how to use them.

Some people are asking about the $300 billion investment fund for Iran.

America will not invest a dime.

It will come from the oil-rich Arab monarchies who have more money than brains.

I am the only one who has both brains and money.

My family made $4 billion in just one year.

And Jared Kushner will be fully involved in Iran’s reconstruction projects and make tons of money.

That is what he is good at.

It is also the reason why I let him marry Ivanka.

They make a great couple; a very rich couple.

They really do.

I hate Sleepy Joe because he messed up the surrender deal I made with the Taliban.

I negotiated for two years to get the Taliban back in power.

I so much wanted to sign that deal myself in Qatar to hand over power to the Taliban after spending 20 years and $1.26 trillion on a war that replaced the Taliban with the Taliban.

Sleepy Joe and his generals sneaked out of Kabul airport in the middle of the night.

What a bunch of losers.

If you want to surrender, do it in style, as I did with Iran.

“Nobody can surrender like I do.

“I am the best surrender in the whole wide world,” Trump said to thunderous applause at the Versailles Palace after dinner.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. DONALD J. TRUMP