'Trump Must Go', says Syrian President at a crowded press conference!!!

Empowering Weak & Oppressed

Crescent International

Shawwal 10, 1441 2020-06-02

Daily News Analysis

by Crescent International

With ongoing protests in many cities across the US following the brutal murder by strangulation of George Floyd by a policeman in Minneapolis, Minnesota, there has been reaction from many governments around the world.

While America’s European allies have been tepid in their criticism of the brutal response of the Trump regime who has unleashed heavily-armed police forces and National Guard units against peaceful protesters, we decided to gauge official reaction in Damascus.

The Syrian government has been at the receiving end of American aggression and interference since 2011.

The US has also financed mercenaries to invade Syria.

Successive US regimes have demanded that “Asad must go”.

The shoe is now on the other foot.

At a press conference in Damascus today, Syrian President Bashar al Asad was scathing in his criticism of the Trump regime.

He said Trump had lost the trust of the American people and he must go.

Asad also demanded that the regime must rein in the thugs in uniform (aka the police and National Guards) that are killing innocent people, especially members of the African American community, with impunity.

“The Syrian Arab Republic”, said Asad “has decided to assist the ‘Free American Army’ to liberate the great American people.”

“As a first step, Syria would provide military training and arms to the Free American Army that is made up of patriotic Americans,” said Asad at a crowded press conference attended by most media networks from around the world.

Additionally, the Syrian president announced a raft of sanctions against the Trump regime as well as a freezing of all of Trump’s assets including the Trump Tower Hotels worldwide.

He warned everyone, especially the Saudis, to not stay in Trump Hotels otherwise they will also be subjected to punishing Syrian sanctions.

He said the sanctions will remain in place as long as the brutal dictator Trump occupied the White House.

President Asad also warned governments around the world to not trade with the Trump regime or violate the sanctions.

“If any governments or corporations violate these sanctions that have been placed to assist the brave American people, they will also be sanctioned,” said Asad.

The Syrian president announced that patriotic Americans and Free American Army fighters had requested help to establish an independent American government-in-exile. He said Damascus was considering the request sympathetically.

If approved, Damascus will provide accommodation, other facilities and even Syrian passports for them to travel freely around the world.

President Asad also placed the following US officials and entities on Syria’s official terrorist list.

Donald J. Trump (but not Melania Trump), Vice President Mike Pence, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo (his assets have also been frozen because he is a self-confessed liar), National Security Advisor Robert C. O’Brien, Attorney General Willian Barr, Trump’s advisor and son-in-law Jared Kushner, Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, Director of Homeland Security Chad Wolf, Governor of Minnesota Tim Walz, all the police forces in every state and city in the US, all National Guard forces in the US, FBI director Christopher Wray, and CIA director Gina Haspel as well as Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank, Jerome Powell.

Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and Breitbart news were also sanctioned.

President Asad said this was only a partial list.

“Other individuals will be added to the list as time goes by unless these people immediately resign their posts and seek forgiveness of the American people,” said the Syrian president.

“As a goodwill gesture toward the brave American people, the Syrian Arab Republic will immediately send a ship load of food including nutri-bars and chocolate bars as well as fizzy drinks made in Syria.”

“We will not let the brave American people down as they struggle against a brutal dictator who must go,” President Asad emphasized.

(This is mere satire. Some readers have taken it literally although we thought the manner in which it is written should have alerted everyone that it is not real)