State Dept. to Americans: be scared, very, very scared!

Empowering Weak & Oppressed

Crescent International

Safar 26, 1436 2014-12-19

Daily News Analysis

by Crescent International

As globe trotting Americans head out on holidays abroad, the US State Department has issued an advisory warning them about the potential risks that lurk everywhere. While we consider some of them, Americans might wish to reflect why their government is so hated globally.

Washington DC,

2014-12-19, 21:49 EST

As Americans head out on holidays to escape the rising violence at home, the US State Department has issued an advisory warning them to be scared, very, very scared.

There are “terrorists” lurking everywhere plotting to harm them.

The State Department advisory includes numerous points some of which we enumerate below.

1: When you get on the plane do not tell anyone you are an American. Terrorists may have sneaked on the flight. Be scared, very, very scared!

2: Do NOT sleep on the flight. You never know what the terrorists might do to you. Be scared, very, very scared!

3: Do NOT eat airline food. It is not very appetizing anyway but you should not take the risk in case the terrorists have poisoned the food. They are evildoers. Be scared, very, very scared!

4: When you arrive at your destination, do not tell officials at Passport Control that you are an American. They probably have links with the terrorists so the moment you step outside the airport, the evildoers will be waiting to cause you harm. Be scared, very, very scared!

5: Do NOT take a cab from the airport to your hotel. How can you be sure a terrorist is not disguised as a cab driver? Be scared, very, very scared!

6: Never stay at a hotel even if you have a booking, especially if you have a booking. The terrorists would already have this information to cause you harm. Be scared, very, very scared!

7: Do NOT eat at a restaurant. The terrorists are always lurking around such places. They know Americans love to eat. Be scared, very, very scared!

8: Do NOT go to shopping malls. They are always full of terrorists waiting for peace-loving Americans to cause them harm. They are evildoers. Be scared, very, very scared!

9: Do NOT talk to strangers in another country. They are all terrorists. They are also jealous of America. Be scared, very, very scared!

10: Do NOT change your green backs. The terrorists would immediately know you are an American and will cause you harm. Be scared, very, very scared!

11: Do NOT go sightseeing. Such places are infested with terrorists. They know Americans love to visit such sites. Be scared, very, very scared!

12: If you get into trouble, do NOT use the phone and certainly not your cell phone. The terrorists would immediately know you are an American and will cause you great harm. Be scared, very, very scared!

13: Remember, your Government always has your back wherever you are. But be scared, very, very scared!

14: Apart from this, have a nice holiday and a Merry Christmas!

END

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